“I left my clackers in my desk”.
“Your mum’s late again. She’s probably still watching The Sullivans. Let’s make the unwise decision to walk home on our own.”
“Hmm… are those kids making the unwise decision to walk home on their own?”
“You can get impaled on railings… I saw a video about it at school.”
“Hang on… they bloody are…”
“C’mon, let’s pretend we belong to a fictional government organisation that can pretty much operate outside the law. Weeeee!”
“Come back here, you little buggers!”
“Let’s also pretend the lolly-pop man belongs to a fictional, left wing, German terrorist gang.”
“Clear off, you little bleeders! Or you’ll be feeling the wrong end of my lolly!”
“Those bloody kids are going to end up drowning in a grain silo or getting electrocuted somewhere… this is the 70’s after all.”
“A building site! Let’s go and play with a massive, unstable pile of bricks.”
“‘Oi, have you seen two kids pretending to be agents of a fictional government organisation that seemingly operates above and beyond the law?”
*Insert moody nostril flare.
“Hmm… impressive motor!”
“If we stand still long enough, he should be able to hit us.”
“Moving out the way would be a good idea right now, kids”.
“Yeah! Sod off back to Radio Luxembourg!”
“That’s the trouble with you 70’s kids. You love nothing better than appearing in videos that have you dying in inexplicably grotesque fashions…”
“Now you see, The Green Cross Code is alright…”
“But you have to remember that most people out there are insane or evil and want to kill you.”
“Remember, I won’t be there next time you get chased by a faceless, criminal mastermind, hellbent on your destruction, so I want you to learn how to kill people with your bare hands, alright!”
“Oh yeah, and Father Christmas is dead.”
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